June 8, 2011

The Case of the Missing Dryer Sheets

Do you recall me warning everyone that I decided to become eccentric? Just testing your memory. If you don’t remember, you can be a member of my Three Second Memory Club (no application, no rules, no meetings, no dues ). If you do remember, then you’re over qualified for the club but you can still read my blogs and books until you lose your memory.

Back to my so called eccentricities. Bruce, my sweet hubby, asked me if I’d seen the dryer sheets. Why? Because, he does most of the laundry. Actually, he does all the laundry unless we have a fight over him shrinking a linen blouse of mine or something similar. No worries. We become friends again and he’s back sorting the dirty clothes.

“The dryer sheets are on the shelf above the washer and dryer, “ I told him. He’s sometimes challenged in the logic department.

“I can’t find them. I’ve been looking for five minutes. Come show me where they are.”

Dislodging my computer from its Gracious Stick (stay tuned for full disclosure and photos of said G Stick coming soon…) and dumping Button aka Little Naughty, our calico kitty, from the arm of the easy chair, I walked through the kitchen, all 6 steps of it. Arriving at my destination, I pointed directly to the good smelly sheets. “There! Right in front of you.”

He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand to demonstrate a eureka moment. “My mistake,” he said. “Why didn’t I think to look for them inside the box of fresh Swiffer floor pads?”

It was clear he of little common sense craved an explanation.

“It’s like this. Those laundry shelves are overflowing and-“

“Could it be because there are three bud vases, one tall square vase, two tall round vases, a big crock pot, a smaller crock pot, a blender, a chopper, three cookie cooling racks, two detergent bottle, a window cleaner, a huge bleach bottle and assorting tiny, empty, mustard jars—I took inventory while I was searching – and that’s just on the bottom shelf.”

He expected an argument and, ha, ha, he didn’t get one. “You’re right. I do have lots of vases and crock pots. The better prepared I’ll be to welcome fresh bouquets from you and cook you such yummo dishes as Fish Stew, your favorite. (Fish Stew is featured in Mark of a Man, my next novel.)”

Defeated, his only reply was, “Right.”

“As I was saying, since the shelf is so full, I efficiently made more room. I put the dryer sheets inside the box of floor pads. It’s not like I tried to hide them. The box is open on the end for the whole world to see if they want. ” To bring my point home, I pointed at the box within the box.

“One of these days, I’ll learn to ask first,” he said.

We then did what we always do. I smiled as he shook his head.

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