December 20, 2017

2017 Annual Christmas Letter

Somebody else's Christmas Cactus
     Here is another of our annual appalling          
appealing family Christmas letters.  Hope your year was filled with events and quotes as great as ours!
 
Mother tried out for the community theater production of Little Mermaid.  She will play the coveted role of seaweed.
 
Auntie instructed Son to put up the trellis for the wedding ceremony.  He readily agreed, adding, "What’s a trellis?"
 
Uncle asked, "Who was the last one to brush?"  “Brush what?” came the reply in unison. That happened in May.
 
Father warned: "Don't go in there.  He's got The Crud and he'll take us all down with him."
 
The doorbell rang. "Who ordered this kind of pizza?  I hate mushrooms so I ain't paying.  Granny, it’s for you."
 
"Who wants a white Russian?"  I don't, but I'll take a furry Frenchman."
 
Uncle Tree-tree talks into the TV clicker and replaces the batteries when he can't change the channels. It keeps him busy and away from the garbage can.
  
It rained so hard the apple pie was good.
 
Father cut the grass and his toe nails, in that order
 
Cousin Skin bought a ticket and wore a sneaker.
 
The pool was not cleaned this year.
 
Anybody got any TUMS?
 
A feather was on the sidewalk.
 
Ants carried off the cat food.
 
Mother sewed on a button then removed the blood stains with her spit.
 
Brother got a new one.
 
The cat coughed up a pickle.
 
The timer on the sprinkler got reset.
 
The oven burned the chicken. 
 
The repairman made two trips to plug in the toaster.  He wears a uniform and is Father's nephew.
 
Friday's newspaper was thinner than the bacon.
 
Sometimes we didn’t dry the dishes.
 
The stairs still need watering.
 
The chimney smells funny.
 
Merry Christmas
from all the crew and characters at
Gracious Jane Marie and
Amelia Island Novels Blog