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| Peeper |
RIGHT HERE!
(See PEEPERISMS Below)
"Hi ever-buddy. I am Peeper, Amelia Island, Florida's favorite! Well, favorite in my time, bein' the late 1800s. I am also still very popular in yur time, cause Jane Marie writes about me in her Goodbye Lie books. One reason people want ta be my friend is how I tell our next door neighbor, Aunt Noreen, I call her Noreena just ta make her mad, how I tell her where the hog bit the punkin'. That's country-talk meanin' I tell her the way a things. And I don't much care, not even a whit, who hears or sees us a-fussin'. Another reason people like me is cause a my elixer-fixers. I make most a my remedies from home grown properties or what I can find in and round Dunnigan Manor. That's where I live, with the Dunnigans. By way a liftin' Doc Tackett's load, the townfolk sometimes come a-knockin' on our door, day or night. A body's likely ta git little shuteye, but when you's good at somethin', it'd be a sin not ta help anybody seekin' yur services.
People's always askin' me how I come ta join the Dunnigan family here in Fernandina. They's the finest family in town. There might be some that's richer, but none other when it comes ta the real valuable in livin', and that's love. They got a heap extra ifn' anybody needs some. Ya see, way back, I heard 'bout a pretty girl, wed only a few years, Mrs. Dunnigan, Miss Ella ta everybody who knows her good. I knocked on her door then when Carolena was just a sprig of a girl, and said I was here ta help her since her man, Mr. Michael, was gone off ta that awful War Between the States. I pushed past her because I knowed it would be best fur all ifn I stayed. I did and ain't never left. My favorite children is each one a them. Even Warren Lowell, Noreena's boy. He tweren't one I liked much once he got ta walking. He had them mean toed shoes and he tweren't too shy ta use 'em on his sister, Nora, and his cousins, Carolena and Breelan, even little Marie. When he outgrowed that part, I liked him fine. It's cause he's got a fine father in Clabe, that he turned out good. With Noreena as a mama, well, she's just nasty as a three-day-old skinned rabbit in the sun. And I can't forgit about my Jack Patrick. All growed up, his likes ta be called Pat. I call him Bird a the Earth. It's not right ta have a favorite, so I won't say I got one.
I got to yammerin' and forgot ya come here ta read some a my Peeperisms, like folks calls 'em. Here's a few. I got more, so check back. Don't want nobody amissin' my wisdom."
PEEPERISMS
If'n she wears a flower by her cheek, she just might turn out ta be a sneak!"
Remember this and ya best be wise. A low cut blouse will oft call flies.
If'n ya sit in the dark ta hide yur sad, folks won't know about it, ta make ya glad.
If'n ya eat too close to the rind, you'll be acatchin' a chill.
Aunt Noreena couldn't grow a weed if she smothered it in manure and spit tobacco juice on it.
Noreea spreads gossip faster than a pig eats waffles.
My ma always told me, if'n ya act like a skunk, the folks about town will smell yur stinky feet a-comin' before they see ya.
Thoughts is things, so don't be thinkin' 'bout bad matters.
If'n ya butter your biscuit with the other hand, you'll only have half the weeds in your vegabull garden.
Did ya know that white cats are oft deaf?
If'n ya hang a boot upside down, the weather will change.
Don't never drink milk and eat fish together or else your shirt will wrinkle.
If'n ya season the chicken too much, your shoes will be tight.
Heed my word! Aunt Noreen
is
always sayin' I'm full of gizzards and fool, but she don't know her ear
from her elbow, that one.
