Oft times, my e-mails overwhelm me. I don't delete as I should. I found one from 2013, which I don't remember composing, so as I read it, I chuckled out loud. I thought I would share.
I am writing to a friend who is engaged. We are chatting about our early beaus. This is me talking:
Tell your fiancé, my first boyfriend, when I was a little kid, was named Henry. He was a neighbor and he squinted all the time. He also ate worms. Seriously. I think I remember your mother saying I ate worms. Well, I didn't and still don't. I also think Barbra, our daughter, had an early boyfriend who licked rocks. With beginnings like that, it's a wonder we didn't end up marrying men who chew their own toenails. - Jane Marie
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| Aunt Noreen |
Late 1800s
Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida
Aunt Noreen writes: I am beginning to see a nasty pattern with regard to your writing, Jane Marie. If you are not scribbling something mean about me in your Goodbye Lie series (GBL), you are making up less than socially acceptable stories in this blog of yours. My stars, but I would think you might make better use of the hours in your day by counting flower petals or listening for bird calls. That's what I do.
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Present Day
Fernandina Beach on Amelia Island, Florida
Jane Marie writes: Dearest Aunt Noreen,
I think YOU might make better use of your hours by trying to improve your disposition.
Just so you know, by comparison to many authors in our 21st century, my writings are tame. I had a reader send me an email which said: There is no raw sex [in The Goodbye Lie] and it's still a good story. I put her comment on this blog because I am extremely proud of that fact. My intention, all along, is to keep my work family-friendly and tastefully romantic. After all, I dedicated The Goodbye Lie to my father, so I would not be embarrassed when he read it.
And another thing. Quit hogging all the entries in the GBL Diaries! Give some of the other characters a chance to correspond with us. I'm beginning to get complaints from our readers. Enough said, except have a lovely time counting your petals whilst you think how you might do a kindness to ... Peeper. Everybody know how much you concern yourself with her business.
With all their shenanigans, Aunt Noreen and Grandmother Peeper are comical characters in The Goodbye Lie series.
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Grandmother Peeper writes: I seen one a them birds aflyin' the other day. I admit to it. It was a pretty thing, but sure as a croakin' frog can wake the dead at night, them egrets fly high up and let loose, if ya understand my meanin', and it always lands on the clean clothes ahangin' on the line. That's the way of it.
