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| Avert thine eyes!!!! |
Therefore, it is no secret that I am celebrating my 31st year of dieting. My plan has been to either lose weight, notice how original I am in my efforts, or to keep weight off. Then there is the goal of lowering cholesterol. That's my recent focus. In the words of my husband, Bruce, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing to excess.” That must be why we get along. We’re prone to extremes.
And so, for the last three months, this particular diet has consisted of fruitsies (as my father called them late in life) and veggies. We all understand the importance of such. Every day for breakfast: low sodium V8 juice and nuked instant oatmeal with water and natural plant sweetener. Then we have what we call phony eggs. You know, the ones with no fat, no cholesterol, no nothing. Happily, they make pretty good scrambled eggs. Add some salsa and yummo! Slice an apple on the side for dessert, sprinkle on a bit of cinnamon, which is supposed to be good for you, and you have minute touches of a gourmet meal. Perhaps green peepers stuffed with no fat cottage cheese steamed on a bed of marinara sauce on top of the stove or chicken in the slow cooker with a light mushroom soup and drinking sherry gravy- add salt and pepper to taste. How about that delightful treat of an entire bag of frozen broccoli sprinkled with lemon and pepper, thawed and heated through, of course. (I was using the lemon/pepper you sprinkle on from the little condiment bottle. Even at 60% reduced sodium, we're talking salt bomb! Then someone suggested I use fresh squeezed lemon juice. Doy!!!!)
No eating at restaurants allowed except when a friend arrived from out of town. I couldn't very well expect her to join my diet. After all, I had a 30 year and 364 day jump start on her. So, we went to a Mexican restaurant. I had greens, tomatoes and sliced avocado. My taste buds were satisfied, even if the visual of her gobbling away on her triple cheese enchiladas will haunt me till death.
But the most suffering I have endured was no pasta, no cheese and no chocolate!!! Ladies and gents, I can proudly say, I did not cave. Shocker, right? Yes, to me, too, since the G in Gracious Jane Marie might well strand for gluttony.
But the most suffering I have endured was no pasta, no cheese and no chocolate!!! Ladies and gents, I can proudly say, I did not cave. Shocker, right? Yes, to me, too, since the G in Gracious Jane Marie might well strand for gluttony.
Someone told me to pop a daily dose of natural olive leaf and chlorella which is supposed to be good for everything from left-handedness to uneven eyebrows. Now Bruce just told me he heard a doctor interviewed on the radio saying that you need cholesterol to hold the body together. Oh, I like that. Still, I'll try to be good and not eat the entire pan of brownies, again, myself.
If this post rambles and I guarantee it does, blame it on calorie deprivation.
If this post rambles and I guarantee it does, blame it on calorie deprivation.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nurse or orderly. However, I was once a junior nurse’s aide as a teen. Should you trust my medical interpretation on any matters of health, may I suggest you see a shrink because, how should I say this ... You're nuts.
P.S. It's probably a better thing that Miss Ella, instead of me, is in charge of the menus for the Dunnigan family's Aqua Verde Passenger Line in The Goodbye Lie series. She seems somewhat less extreme than I am.
P.S. It's probably a better thing that Miss Ella, instead of me, is in charge of the menus for the Dunnigan family's Aqua Verde Passenger Line in The Goodbye Lie series. She seems somewhat less extreme than I am.
