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| Captain Fancy Patch displays his hat and fancy patch |
“Avast ye! Tis Captain
Fancy Patch of the Rosey Freckle addressin’ all this day. For ye
landlubbers, I will explain a few mysteries about us pirates. Aw, now don’t let
me name nor the name of me ship be foolin’ ya. We are a gentle crew, it’s
true, yet powerful mean should we be called upon to defend whatever we decide
to defend.
And why me eye
patch? Many do ask. A fine thing it be, considering the less
than happy reason I wear it. Me best wench, Jane Marie, decorated it
special, and it be the prettiest patch on all the high seas. Now, while
many a pirate has lost his eye, there are many more who still have two good
orbs, like Keg McBrewster and Darty Hoisterman. Why would they have need
of a patch then? Aw, to improve their night vision, matey. Ya see,
keepin’ one eye covered in the light of day, makes for better spyin’ when
havin’ to enter a dark cave or go below decks on the enemy ship. The eyesight
has already adjusted itself to the blackness and, therefore, with your blade
ready, no foe can come out of the darkness, unseen. A cagey pirate is
ready at all times!
Pirates and earrings go
together. Have ye ever wondered why? The tellin’ of it is fascinatin’ for
there be many a reason. One is that piercing a lobe with a pin makes a
man more virile, or so they say. The Chinese acupuncture point to
improve eyesight is in the very same place.
Now a pirate guards his
earring with his life because it is made of the finest gold or silver, if he be
a pirate of any worth. His town of origin is oft times engraved on
the ring so those buryin’ him know where to send the body once he's
sailed his last. The earring is sold and the cash used to pay the cost of
shipping his carcass and performing a service, should it be his custom.
One more thing I’ll share
with ye and that is we pirates can be seen with a wad of wax hanging from our
earrings. The purpose being to plug our ears with the stuff when we fire
our big guns aboard ship, so we don’t blow out our hearin' whilst we’re
blastin' a hole in our attacker’s aft!
Until my next communiqué,
I’m off for some grog and boiled cackle fruit (eggs, me bukos)! And remember, if ye done a thing, fess
up. Your friends will admire ye and your
enemies will discover they can't use your sins against ye."
Captain Fancy Patch
Amelia Island, Florida, home port
Captain Fancy Patch has a cameo role
in Amelia Island's Mark of a Man. He
also reads a bedtime story video called The Great Amelia Island Sniff Off here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owujwL7dEng
