It's that time of year when our family shares
the highlights of bygone months. Hang on,
for what you're about to read will be… Well, hang on, if you dare...
Mother asked: "What is the score?"
Her Brother replied: "10 to10."Mother: "Who is winning?"
Her Brother: "It's 10 to 10."
Mother, laughing: "Oh, since you're a Navy man, I’m glad it's Navy."
Her Brother: "It's 10 to 10."
Mother: "Beat Army!" (Mother is proud of her sports knowledge.)
Father rewired the front porch light. Whenever the family flips the switch, the
hair dryer starts blowing cold. Mother says the A/C bill is lower and spent the extra money on a nose hair trimmer for Father. Braiding his nose hair was taking too much time away from grass mowing.
Cousin Isning's left earlobe went missing.
After adopting a rescued doggie, Mother said to Her Brother
who was moving in for a very long unexpected visit, "Where is the
dog? I don't want her to run
outside."
Her Brother: "I know exactly where she is. She's biting my right ankle."
Mother: "Oh good! After you put on thicker socks, give her one of these biscuits and praise her so she'll keep doing it and we'll always know where to find her." Mother should be an animal trainer.
Mother: "Oh good! After you put on thicker socks, give her one of these biscuits and praise her so she'll keep doing it and we'll always know where to find her." Mother should be an animal trainer.
Uncle Knuckle gave Niece a candle for her birthday. Father worried
she would burn her house down. Uncle Knuckle
pointed out that her house is termite-ridden so Father gave her an extra book
of matches to speed the process.
Daughter walked the beach and left a small pile of special seashells on the shore near the water. When she returned the next day with a bucket to collect them, they were gone. With such blatant disregard of citizen's property, she wonders what will be next? Stealing dandelions?
Cousin Gassie reports his bowel sounds have improved.
Aunt Rantie asked Mother, "Since they all have four
legs and a tail, how does a dog know it's not a cat and a cat know it's not a
dog?" Not wanting to appear
superior in her knowledge, Mother blew her nose.
The glue on the church envelopes tastes like red paint.
The neighborhood got new orange recycling cans. Cousin Irk says the color suits him better
than the regular gray trash can and likes his new digs.
Canned peaches are still on aisle 5.
Father discovered that if you turn a book upside down, the words are upside down, too.
The bread often has green edges. Mother is pleased because the color matches her vinyl place mats.
The ice cream melted too fast and Father is preparing to take legal action.
The mailman has crusty elbows.
That's the news from sunny
Amelia Island, Florida.
Amelia Island, Florida.
Merry Christmas
and don't eat too much tinsel.
and don't eat too much tinsel.
Happy 2013, too!
