New Holiday Friends

Betsy, Jane Marie and Karen

I often post pictures of some of the new people I meet at book signings.  We have a common interest, historic romance/suspense novels.  After giggling with them and chatting up a storm, the time comes to part and as a remembrance, we take photos to share. 

This was Black Friday in downtown Fernandina on Amelia Island's historic Centre Street.  Since lots of action in my Amelia Island's Goodbye Lie Trilogy takes place on Centre, I love pointing here and teasing them there.  It's exciting for me and seems so for them, too .

From the heavy coats and scarves we're wearing, plus the Santa hat atop my head, you can see the weather fits the season.  Oh, and I'm wearing pajamas since it has become an island tradition on Black Friday that everyone is to come downtown from 8:00 to 11:00 am in their jammies.  If it's silly and fun, you know me, I'm there!

Thank you to Betsy and Karen from The Villages in central Florida.  Hope to hear from you once you've read The Goodbye Lie and Amelia Island's Velvet Undertow.  Stay tuned for Amelia Island's Mark of a Man.  It's right around the corner...



Bless This House, a Hymn

Thanksgiving Bouquet by Ava

May we all remember to

 count our blessings

today and every

Thanksgiving Day.

 

Please enjoy

 Bless This House,

sung by Perry Como.

 

Click below to hear the lovely hymn,  first published in 1927:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es_Q0pC6I4E

 

Honey Walnut Ice Cream- Peeper Writes



Here is an easy dessert is vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt drizzled with honey and sprinkled with walnuts.  This treat is featured in my upcoming novel, Amelia Island's Mark of a Man, set in 1898 and served at the Crusty Anchor Pub.

Excerpt:

Pat winked as he returned to his table in time for a beefy waiter to deliver steaming bowls of their ordered beef stew. Uncle John, giving nary an acknowledgement of the incident, sliced the loaf of accompanying beer bread and slathered each piece with butter before passing the first portion to Jency, who still smiled in relief that there was no altercation. They ended their meal, appreciating their vanilla ice cream drizzled with honey and walnuts.

 



The Goodbye Lie Diaries:

Fernandina, Florida
1898

Grandmother Peeper writes:  Shoot. I betcha they paid a pretty penny fur that goodie.  Come on down ta my house and I won't charge ya nothin'.  Well, I think I'd have ta send Aunt Noreena a bill, just ta be mean.

Writing Quote

Story Central, where simple words turn the page ... 

The quotation below was sitting randomly at the bottom of an email I received. As a writer, I think I have to agree with Mr. Hemingway.

 

"Poor Faulkner.  Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

      - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

Florida Fall & Goodbye Lie Diaries

Fernandina on Amelia Island
present day

4 o'clocks- A friend gave me the huge bulbs years ago and they smell delightful, too!

Jane Marie writes:
Mama Nature is wonderful in so many way.  One of them is her perennials.  You know, those plants that come up from bulbs or the ones that bloom every year. Yes, fertilizing, dead heading, cutting them back, etc., all the things gardeners should do will make for a bigger display of blossoms. But, for anyone who hasn't the time to bestow much TLC upon these garden gems, well, be grateful they don't need you very much.  The photos are proof of that since I can't be in my cottage garden as often as I'd like to be. 
 

seven  sisters roses


 

white mums from a pot that decorated the altar one
 Easter Sunday morning



yellow mums

Wild red Florida roses-very bug resistant,
and they bloom a couple of times a year.





miniature oleander bush

 


orange tree



pink mums


Gerbera daisy is an annual.  I looked it up,
 but our Florida winter has been mild enough that it survived. 
 I think this plant is at least 4 years old.

******

Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida
1880's

Aunt Noreen writes:
If you are trying to show off, Jane Marie, you are doing a masterful job of it.  It's not that you don't have some very lovely specimens, but it sounds as though you are neglecting your garden and depending upon the good Lord to make your flowers grow.  I'm sure He would appreciate you lending a hand and spending a few hours a week in your garden.  Don't be so lazy!

Aunt Noreen

The ladies in my orchid society realize how hard I work to produce the show-stoppers I do and so  I am proud to say I won second place for what I call my Emerald Eye.  The only reason I did not win first place was that Mrs. Wiseflicker tripped over a tree root when she was visiting her husband's grave and landed in a patch of poison ivy.  They judges felt sorry for her when she appeared in front of them with her hands, arms, left foot and right ear wrapped in bandages, balancing her orchid pot on her hip. The people who get their way by feigning illness ... I would never think of doing anything like that.  It's not in my nature.

Aunt Noreen is a featured player in Amelia Island's Goodbye Lie series set in the 1880s.  She is less that popular within her family and even less in the small seaside town of Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida. 

A Singing Treasure

American Legion Post 54 float

Anniversaries are most often thought of as happy. Not in this case, for it is the 100th anniversary of the beginning of 

World War I.  That is hard to comprehend. 



In honor of Veteran's Day, Bruce, my husband, and I rode on the American Legion Post 54 float in our local Fernandina parade.  It was so wonderful to hear the crowds cheer and wave, some with their hands over their hearts, some saluting, all shouting  a sincere thank you for your service to the veterans.



After the parade, we went to Post 54.  Bruce is the chaplain there and I am a member of the Auxiliary.  We ate delicious pulled pork sandwiches in the canteen then went into the hall to hear a young man sing patriotic songs.  What a delight ten-year-old Joshua Barber was and is.  He has overcome severe health issues and is a living inspiration.  He touched our hearts with his love for
America. 

 

Joshua, Uncle Sam and Jane Marie

 

Click on the video below to enjoy Joshua singing the Armed Forces Medley, his tribute to our military men and women.  It will leave you proud and smiling!



 

Here's to all veterans and active duty military. 

God is forever with you.

Making the Mark- Mark of a Man

working cover of Mark of a Man

I was checking for typos, I'm always checking for typos, this time with regard to you, you are and you're.  Then I thought how the words following you're, scattered throughout Amelia Island's Mark of a Man, my next historical romance novel, might offer a hint about the storyline.  Have a look below and let your imagination go. Then when you read the soon to be released book, see if you came close to the actual plot.  But remember, I like to surprise folks ...

 

you’re going to bed ...

you’re plug ugly ...

you’re a dickens ...
you’re strong enough ...

you’re no threat ...

you’re a good, no …

you’re too …

you’re afraid …

you’re telling the town …

you’re making it sound …

you’re better than …

you’re already halfway to …

you’re a lot crazier …

you’re a nasty boil on …
 

The Morning After

We had zero trick-or-treaters last night.  :-(   We  propped open the gate and all the outside lights were on, but still no one.  Could it be the Beware of Dog sign on the gate?  Maybe, but Abby and I took a short walk after dark and there were just no kids on the sidewalk across the street.  So, looks like peanut butter cups for me! The secret is control, of course.  I must look up the definition of control ... once the treats are all gone.  :-)

Halloween Happy plus Goodbye Lie Diaries- Peeper

My friend, Shirlene Reeves,  is a wonderful baker and made this Apple Stack Cake for a birthday party.  She found the recipe in Southern Living online.  Six pounds of apples and six layers later, half a wedge of one layer was enough of a taste for me to enjoy this delightfully delicious Halloween creation.  Click on the link below to make your own stack cake. http://www.southernliving.com/food/entertaining/tempting-apple-dessert-recipes/apple-stack-cake

 

 

And we can't leave out Abby, our Gracious Jane Marie mascot, modeling her Halloween pumpkin costume.  She thinks she's the cutest pumpkin in the patch.  I tend to agree with her!

 

*****

1880s
Fernandina, Florida

Grandmother Peeper writes: We're havin' a Halloween party at

Dunnigan Manor this year.  The youngins  is just about finished amakin' their costumes.  Breelan's is a tall pointy hat with a floatie veil pasted ta the top. She'll be a princess.  Carolena  fashioned some pretend wire glasses, will pin up her mess a hair and carry a pile a books.  Likin' ta read, as she does, she will be a librarian.  Miss Ella made little Marie a bunny mask ta wear with her pink apron and Jack Patrick wants ta be a ax murderer.  He asked ta borrow Clover's hatchet and cover the head of it with my strawberry jelly fer blood,

but his father, Michael, says he's not allowed ta waste the jelly. 

Miss Ella sent out invitations asayin' there will be a fortune teller at the party. That will be me.  I'll tell everybody  their future will be bright.  Well, everybody but Aunt Noreena. We always have ta include her since she's right next door and would come over, invitation or not, like she always does. I'll make her fortune sound so awful, she won't sleep for the next month and a half. 

When the people come, we'll have only frightening jack-o-lanterns ta light the way ta the opened front door, leading them into the dark welcome hall.  Michael will be dressed as a ghost, wearing a white sheet.  He'll reach out his hand covered with wet salt. That will give them a start.  Clover is gonna make loud scary sounds from behind the talkin' tree ta get folks in the mood, too.  We'll hang apples from the porch ceiling,  sos they can try and bite them with no hands. Breelan is gonna tell ghost stories after we all eat, we'll play cornhole toss and--Well, I don't want ta give away all our surprises but it will be a night they'll be atalkin' about until next Halloween!  All our Dunnigan parties is like that, ya know.  If it's worth doing, says Michael, it's worth doin' ta excess.   

 Happy Halloween!  

 

 

Grandmother Peeper is a featured character in Amelia Island's Goodbye Lie Trilogy.  Everybody loves her but Aunt Noreen.  That's got to tell you something ...



 

Frank Sinatra's Undertow

UNDERTOW - I am often asked how I come up with the name of my novels.  Amelia Island's Velvet Undertow easily found me.  I wanted a word that meant overwhelming, all consuming, no escaping.  The result was undertow.  While that might have been sufficient, I thought it needed a softening, a sort of beckoning, an allure to it. Velvet was the description of my undertow. One final touch was needed for location, Amelia Island, and there you have it.  Velvet Undertow is the perfect title for this historic romance/suspense book because there are so many types of undertows throughout the pages ...

Here is another use of  undertow.
"All Or Nothing At All"
sung by Frank Sinatra, 1943
with the Harry James Orchestra
music by Arthur Altman
lyrics by Jack Lawrence

This wonderful song is the first professional recording by Frank Sinatra and it could be, in part, one of the theme songs to my book. Take a listen here:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7klm1GS3v8 -

 

Lyrics below:

All or nothing at all,
Half a love never appealed to me.
If your heart never could yield to me,
Then I'd rather, rather have nothin' at all.

All or nothing at all,
If it's love, there is no in-between.
Why begin then cry for something that might have been?
No, I'd rather have nothin' at all.

Oh, please don't bring your lips so close to my cheek.
Don't smile or I'll be lost beyond recall.
The kiss in your eyes, the touch of your hand makes me weak,
And my heart may grow dizzy and fall.

And if I fell under the spell of your call,
I would be caught in the undertow.
And so you see, I've got to say no, no.
All or nothin' at all.

[instrumental]

All or nothin' at all!

1 2 3 !

My own treasured friends,

These are the things that clog my mind:

As I sit here contemplating the glycemic index of beetroot and kidney beans, it came to me that I had just emailed my daughter telling her to buy fertilizer for her roses with a high number in the middle. I’m talking about the three numbers on the front of fertilizer bags that indicate the strength of the root, flower and leaf boosting power of the product. Then I thought of just how many numbers are involved in our lives. We have numbers for:

Driver’s license
Tag number
Social Security
Credit cards
Birthdays
Anniversaries
Ages
Bank statements
Check writing
Prices of food, clothing
Mortgage/rent payment
Phone numbers- cell, landline home, work
Regular priced items
Sale items
Population
Temperature, indoors and outdoors
Chill factor
Heat index
Smog level
Percentage chance of rain
Height of the seas
Above sea level
Calories
TV stations
Radio stations
Speed limits
Fines
Sales Tax
Eye Sight
Blood pressure
Cholesterol
Height
Body temperature
Body mass
Tire pressure
Air pressure
Fat content
Data
Postage
Voltage
Wattage
Address
Zip code
Fractions of cups for recipes
Electricity- 110 or 220
Water temperature for bathing, swimming, clothes washing
PH factor
Physical Weight
Clocks, watches, timers
Word count for term paper, thesis, short story or novel
Number of stanzas in a poem
Number of verses in a song
Number of stars on the USA flag
Number of states in the USA
Rosary bead count
Fever
Cost per ounce of food on package
Postal charge per weight
Number of guests at a party/reception
Hotel room number
Depth of water in pool
Inches of rain
Counting music
Counting dance steps
Time of a show or movie
Bus, train, airplane schedule
Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, geometry, algebra, Calculus
Chemistry
Statistics
House numbers
Street numbers
Zip codes
Shoe, dress, pants and shirt sizes
Ring, hat, glove sizes
Bust, bra, waist, hip, inseam
Envelope sizes- #10, etc.
Records- old fashioned 45 or 33 for the old timers out there
TV channels
Radio stations
Hymn numbers in the hymnal
How many members on a team for the different sports
Winning/record times or points in sports
Number of presidents in the USA
Number of senators/congressmen
Feet in a mile, inches in a foot, etc.
Cups in a pint, quart, gallon
Ounces in a cup, pint, quart, gallon
Keys on a piano
Days in a month, hours in a day, minutes in an hour, seconds in a minute
Current stamp price
Stock market
401K ups and downs
Price of a gallon of gas
Mileage on a tank of gas
Pages and chapters in a book
Mileage to and from somewhere
Frequent flier miles
Miles per gallon of gas
Cell minutes
Library book due date
Baby’s birth weight and length
Child’s height and weight
Child’s grade in school
Child’s report card/percentile ranking in school
GPA
ETC, ETC, ETC (Thank you The King and I)
And I don't do numbers, I do words!

PS  If I repeated any above, it's a test and you passed!

Pirate Mysteries from Capt Fancy Patch

Captain Fancy Patch displays his hat and fancy patch

“Avast ye! Tis Captain Fancy Patch of the Rosey Freckle addressin’ all this day.  For ye landlubbers, I will explain a few mysteries about us pirates. Aw, now don’t let me name nor the name of me ship be foolin’ ya.  We are a gentle crew, it’s true, yet powerful mean should we be called upon to defend whatever we decide to defend.  

And why me eye patch?  Many do ask. A fine thing it be, considering the less than happy reason I wear it.  Me best wench, Jane Marie, decorated it special, and it be the prettiest patch on all the high seas.  Now, while many a pirate has lost his eye, there are many more who still have two good orbs, like Keg McBrewster and Darty Hoisterman.  Why would they have need of a patch then?  Aw, to improve their night vision, matey.  Ya see, keepin’ one eye covered in the light of day, makes for better spyin’ when havin’ to enter a dark cave or go below decks on the enemy ship. The eyesight has already adjusted itself to the blackness and, therefore, with your blade ready, no foe can come out of the darkness, unseen.  A cagey pirate is ready at all times!

Pirates and earrings go together. Have ye ever wondered why? The tellin’ of it is fascinatin’ for there be many a reason.  One is that piercing a lobe with a pin makes a man more virile, or so they say.  The Chinese acupuncture point to improve eyesight is in the very same place.

Now a pirate guards his earring with his life because it is made of the finest gold or silver, if he be a pirate of any worth.  His town of origin is oft times engraved on the ring so those buryin’ him know  where to send the body once he's sailed his last.  The earring is sold and the cash used to pay the cost of shipping his carcass and performing a service, should it be his custom.

One more thing I’ll share with ye and that is we pirates can be seen with a wad of wax hanging from our earrings.  The purpose being to plug our ears with the stuff when we fire our big guns aboard ship, so we don’t blow out our hearin' whilst we’re blastin' a hole in our attacker’s aft!       

Until my next communiqué, I’m off for some grog and boiled cackle fruit (eggs, me bukos)!  And remember, if ye done a thing, fess up.  Your friends will admire ye and your enemies will discover they can't use your sins against ye."

Captain Fancy Patch

Amelia Island, Florida, home port

Captain Fancy Patch has a cameo role in Amelia Island's Mark of a Man.  He also reads a bedtime story video called The Great Amelia Island Sniff Off  here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owujwL7dEng

 Source: Remy Melina, Life's Little Mysteries Staff Writer   |   March 08, 2011

Bananas!

While recently visiting a friend on the north Florida mainland, remember, we live on Amelia Island, I spied what looked to be a bunch of bananas.  I moved a little closer for a better look-see. By jingo, that was exactly what they were.  She hadn't noticed her bananas yet because the plant had never produced such before this time.  Well, for  this Yankee from Pennsylvania, it was a very exotic thing to see.  And the huge pink blossom at the top of that plant reminded me a tiny bit of the Bird of Paradise flower.  I wonder how they will taste, once they've ripened.
 
For more info on growing bananas, check out the two sites below: http://homeguides.sfgate.com/cut-flower-banana-plant-55800.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQuvLrxv65A - Greg the Gardener

Origin of The Goodbye Lie Series

I am often asked how the idea of The Goodbye Lie story began.  I answer it this way:

"Island living has given rise to my writing.  The characters in Amelia Island's Goodbye Lie series find me as I walk the same beach as they, starting more than one hundred years earlier. The ocean wind carries their whispers past my ear and, from those whispers, I capture their tales of love and hardship, and hilarity and triumph. A citizen of their same town of Fernandina, I stroll the same roads with still-standing Victorian homes, watch the same waves and endure the same weather as my fictional friends. They have joined my family and, through my novels, they want to be part of your family, too."  - Jane Marie 

Spiced Tea / Goodbye Lie Diaries-Miss Ella

spiced tea warming in slow cooker

I hadn't made Spiced Tea in a decade.  With fall in the north Florida air, the thought of it made me wonder if the eleven other girls at my bunko party would like it.  Boy howdy, did they ever!  Half of them asked for the recipe!  The scent filled the house, making it all the cozier.  Hot or cooled, it is simply lovely and easy to make.  There is sugar in it, so keep that in mind, and make it a treat for the whole family on those rainy or snowy days. 

 

You’ll need:

 

2 cups of Tang

3/4 cup decaf instant tea with lemon

1 cup sugar or more to taste

1 1/2 teaspoon cloves

 

Mix all the above ingredients with a spoon or shake well in a container with a tight lid.  Spoon 1 tablespoon into a pretty teacup and fill the cup with hot water.  Serve with cookies or biscuits.  It may be served hot, at room temperature or chilled, but first heat the mixture and stir to dissolve the Tang and sugar and meld the flavors.

 

You can make several servings at once and keep your spiced tea warm in the slow cooker.  I used 8 tablespoons and 8 cups of water.  The ladies ladled refills as they went from table to table between bunko rounds!  There is plenty of powder mixture left to last me fall.                             

                                                             - Jane Marie

***

1880s

Fernandina, Florida

 

Miss Ella

Miss Ella writes:  We serve a similar spiced tea on our Aqua Verde ships. We call it Sweet Orange Tea.  Our chefs make vast amounts as you might imagine for all our passengers, so at the house our recipe is simple.  One teabag, a good squeeze of an orange, a sprinkle of sugar and a dash of cloves.  We don’t measure this exactly and there seems no way to make it incorrectly, unless you forget to add the sugar.  What is this decaf instant tea of which you write?  Instant tea?  My, my, how everything  happens so quickly in your time.  I wonder if I could get used to life zipping by so fast.  Then again, perhaps you accomplish more in a day than we do.  By the way, we, too, often serve the spice tea at our bunko gatherings, just because it is so delightful.  

Miss Ella is the  matriarch of the Dunnigan family in The Goodbye Lie historical romance series set on Amelia Island, Florida in the 1800s.  She oversees what is served on the family's passenger line, which travels from Fernandina, Florida south to Miami and north to New England.

Angels on Duty

I had a good scare recently.  Happily, the angels were on guard and alert because I’m here to tell about it.  I was strolling down the sidewalk one morning, appreciating the clear blue of the cloudless sky and thinking I just might take a picture of it for this blog.  I also thought how a photo of a solid blue rectangle in a posting might seem a little whacked, unless you are familiar with my quest to see and show things in a positive, pretty and often peculiar way, whenever I can.

 

It was then I heard a crash and a scraping.  My head snapped around, taking with it my glance.  And what I saw was enough to chill my soul.  A car had left the road and jumped onto the very sidewalk where I was walking!  The crash I heard was the front bumper hitting the curb and the scraping was the walkway abrading that bumper.  And this happened less than 20 feet from me!

 

In short order, the driver backed up, and more scraping was heard, as he disengaged from the walkway.  On the street again, he proceeded to drive past me at a reasonable speed, like any law-abiding citizen.  The thing was, I clearly saw him still talking on his cell phone, not having paused a moment at the near-tragedy. While I don’t like a lot of bureaucracy, I am certainly in favor of a countrywide hands-free law.  In this instance, those ten digits God gave us are meant to steer the car,  not text, dial phones, answer emails, apply make-up, etc.

 

The bottom line is I am thrilled to be among the living and grateful my guardian angel and his were keeping watch over us both.

Peeper's Pickles- Goodbye Lie Diaries

from Miss Ella's

 Fernandina Flavors Cooking Collection

 
Matriarch Ella Dunnigan concocts, creates, gathers and is responsible for foods served on the fictional Dunnigan family Aqua Verdi Passenger Line ships in the 1880s.  A little bit of make believe  plus a whole lot of real good taste result in these delightful dishes still served in modern times.  (For your convenience, recipes are generally written in today's amounts and measurements.)

Peeper

Fernandina on Amelia Island
1880s

Peeper writes:

Howdy. I'm Grandmother Peeper, star of Jane Marie Malcolm's storybooks called The Goodbye Lie. My fave-rite friends call me Peeper. I do most a the cookin' round Dunnigan Manor.  I have ta make extree bee-cause old Aunt Noreen comes awalkin' cross the field ta eat my food since she can't stand swallowin' her own. 

I like ta eat from my garden and make these here pickles.  I'm glad ta be asharin' them through Jane Marie's magic e-lectronics.  I don't know how 'zactly it works, but I don't need ta know everythin'.

 Peeper's Zucchini Pickles

 

1 pound zucchini, washed with the ends cut off.  Slice 'em pretty thick, about 1/4 inch

3 cups a vinegar, white or cider

1 cup white sugar

lemon - squeeze out a tablespoonful

salt ta taste

 

Cook in a pan on the stove, givin' it a stir so it don't burn none.  It's done when the sugar is all dissolved.  Put the zucchini slices in a clean jars and pour the sugar juice overtop.

 Keep on ice fer 'bout a month.

 

You can likewise use yellow squash or cucumber slices, if you're awantin' ta

 

 

 

Doggie Workout Video

Amelia Island's Abby, our talking, singing, joke-telling Chihuahua, is at it again.  Now she has her own exercise video.  You see, it all began when she put on the workout suit I made her from an old sweat sock.  Yes folks, with a no sewing and a few snips of the scissors, you can create a new outfit for your small doggie, too. 


Abby in her sweatband made from the sock cuff





Abby speed digging beneath her dog towel while wearing her sweat sock exercise togs





May we suggest that you and your dog take a look-see and a listen to Abby's workout video  below with the hope it will inspire your lumpy, porky puppy AND you to get up and MOVE. Even if it is  just one extra wag of your tails, to Abby's way of thinking, that qualifies as exercise. 

 

In case you don't speak Chihuahua, here are the lyrics to her workout ditty:

 

Hello everybody!  It's time to exercise!

And a one and a bark and a sniff and poop.

And a two and a bark and eat and poop.

And  three and a bark and run and poop.

One and two and poop, poop, poop!

Now, don't you feel better?

 

***

 



Use these instruction to make your dog a sock sweater: 

How-To: Make a Dog Sweater from a Sock | MAKE by Phillip Torrone.

Thank you, Phillip.

 

***

 

(Abby I is our current Abby's ancestor. Given as a birthday gift in the 1880s to Aunt Noreen, a major player in my Goodbye Lie series of novels, Abby I lives out back of Duffy Place with Justice, Noreen's hired hand.  Since Aunt Noreen dislikes everything about dogs, from their fur to their smell, Abby I is fat and happy with Justice.  Abby I makes a cameo appearance in Amelia Island's Mark of a Man, the third novel in my trilogy. -jmm)





Mark of a Man Excerpt + Aunt Noreen's Potpourri Recipe

Amelia Island's Mark of a Man is the upcoming novel in my historical suspense/romance Goodbye Lie series.  Set in 1898 on Amelia Island, Florida, Aunt Noreen and her daughter, Nora, are having a lovely time at the John Philip Sousa concert, which unexpectedly is presented in Fernandina, the small town on the island. Yes, a lovely time, that is,  until Aunt Noreen starts her stuff. 

Excerpt:

   Casually standing and stifling a yawn, Noreen added, "By the way, daughter, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but did you speak to Austin about his pigs and their smell?"
   Nora sprang to her feet.
   "I am aware your father gave him permission to corral his animals out back of your house, but the odor …  You know how I hate to complain …"
   Nora was proud of herself for not choking since her mother was the queen of queens when it came to belly aching.
   "And I've been so patient in not saying much about it, yet I must alert you to the disagreeable situation. Since Clabe brought Abby home, I can't seem to catch my breath in my own house. Why else would I relegate that dog to live with Justice in his cabin most of the time?  I admit, she has made me smile once or twice when she's not tearing up the newspaper or tracking sand inside or leaving her fur on my rugs, but she smells like the animal she is. My tender constitution requires open windows as weather permits to keep the house fresh. When the wind blows, it blows Abby's odor out and then it is quickly replaced by all that pig stink. There are times Duffy Place smells as bad inside as it does out! Oh, how I dread rainy days like today or cold days when we have to button up everything and that nasty odor gets trapped indoors.  Should Mr. Sousa smell it, I would die of embarrassment on the spot! On the spot! By way of a natural perfume, I have instructed Winnie that she is to steam apples, cinnamon sticks, cloves and orange peels at the first sign of a cloud."
   Unable to keep her patience, Nora sniped back at her mother, ever the hypochondriac. "Tender constitution?" 
   Remembering her daughter was still young and had yet to appreciate the depth of her physical and mental suffering over the years, Noreen said, "We will save the discussion about me for later. Now we are talking about your husband's offensive pig farming occupation.  How you can stand to be touched by a man in such a line of work?"
   "How dare you. How dare you!" Nora spit in anger and none-too softly. "Austin is a fine, honest, loving husband to me. You knew when we married he was a pig farmer and a volunteer fireman. I don't ever hear you saying a prayer for his safety when it comes to risking his life to save others or their homes. All you do is carry on and find the negative in everything. When you and father suggested we build our house behind Duffy Place like Breelan and Carolena did behind Dunnigan Manor when they wed, it was explained how Austin's animals needed to be close by for him to care for them. We built on the back of your property, as far from your house as possible with the pigpens behind that. We could have just as easily gotten a piece of land somewhere else, but you insisted we stay near to you.  You assured us you'd have no problem with this. Besides, Austin keeps the pens in pristine condition. Like most of your problems, this one is all in your head. The only foul smell in your house is when you burn the beans! And my husband bathes twice a day, if you must know!"
   Noreen crossed her arms over her ample bosom, tightened her lips and tried to close off her hearing, as was her usual when she was admonished.
   "You pretend that if you preface your comments with an 'I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but--,'  it takes away the sting in what you say.  You know it doesn't! Who made you Lord High Executioner anyhow, dear mother?"

Aunt Noreen's Potpourri Recipe

quarter  2 apples

3 to 6 cinnamon sticks broken in half 

small handful of cloves

peel of 2 to 3 oranges- chopped into 1 inch pieces

water to cover

Simmer above ingredients, uncovered, to refresh and deodorize your home.