Wacky 2013 Christmas Letter from Us plus Past Letters!

Hello Everybody,

Here are some of the highlights of our 2013. I hope your year was as whirlwind as ours.

Mother asked her Brother: "What is the score?"  Her Brother answered, "10 to 10." Mother: "Who is winning?" Her Brother:  "It's 10 to 10." Mother, laughing: "Oh, since you're a Navy man, I’m glad it's Navy." Her Brother: "It's 10 to 10." Mother still loves her Brother even if he only says, "10 to 10."  She's glad to know his favorite number is 10.  He can be so secretive.

Father rewired the front porch light.  Whenever the family flips the switch, the hair dryer starts blowing cold.  Now, if Father can only figure out how to make it blow hot, Mother can melt the marshmallows on the macaroni and cheese.

Grampa Squirrelly gave Niece Beanie a candle for her birthday. Father worried she would forget it and burn her house down.  Grampa pointed out that her house is termite-ridden so Father gave her a book of matches. 

Daughter walked the beach and left a small pile of special seashells on the shore near the water.  When she returned the next day with a bucket to collect them, they were gone.  The police laughed at the robbery.  With such blatant disregard of citizen's property, she wonders what will be next? Stealing dandelions?

Cousin Gassie reports that his bowel sounds have improved.  The doctor no longer hums The Volga Boatman when he listens.  Now he sings  Zippidy Doo Da.  Gassie is so thrilled, he's looking for a Hollywood agent.

Aunt Rantie asked Mother, "How does a dog know it's not a cat and a cat know it's not a dog."  Not wanting to appear superior in her knowledge, Mother played dumb.

The neighborhood got new square lime green recycling cans.  Cousin Irk says it gives him more elbow room, what with the four extra corners, and refuses to move out.

The canned peaches are still on aisle 5 at the Hoggily-Woggily.

Father discovered that if you turn a book upside down, the words are upside down, too.  He loves to share his findings with the family in the hope they will grow as wise as he is.

The bread often has green edges.  Mother is pleased because the color matches her vinyl placemats.

The ice cream melted too fast and Father is preparing to take legal action.

Our mailman has crusty elbows.

After adopting a rescued doggie, Mother said to her Brother who was moving in for a very long unexpected visit, "Where is the dog?  I don't want her to run outside." Brother replied, "I know exactly where she is.  She's biting my right ankle." Mother said, "Oh good!  After you put on thicker socks, give her one of these biscuits so she'll keep doing it and we'll always know where to find her." 

Since he found a coupon, Cousin Chuckrack completed cooking school.  Being on a special diet to keep his tapeworm at regulation size, he's lost his interest in fancy cuisine and decided to be an electrician instead. He calls his business Snap, Crackle and Shock. 

Daughter has a new boyfriend.  He’s very nice but he chews worms. Everybody knows you're supposed to lick them. 

Great Uncle Thrice-Removed from Hack-knee Hollow went to the dollar store.  He is so rich, he took along three dollars, but since everything costs only one dollar, he couldn’t buy the purple spider snow globe he wanted.  

Mother's turkey was a bit dry.  Father put it in his closet to keep the humidity down so his shoes don't mold.

The wind blew when it was dark outside.

 

Merry Christmas!

PS

Links to past Annual Christmas Letters:

2012-http://graciousjanemarie.blogspot.com/2012/12/2012-annual-christmas-letter.html

2011-http://graciousjanemarie.blogspot.com/2011/12/annual-holiday-letter-2011.html

2010-http://graciousjanemarie.blogspot.com/2010/12/dreaded-annual-letter-is-back.html

To find even earlier Annual Christmas Letters from Our Family and to get a better understanding of our exotic lifestyle, visit: http://www.greenlightwrite.com/newsletterarchive.htm - Annual Christmas Letters are highlighted in RED.

PLUS, our Super Popular Post – Santa Paintbrush Ornament http://graciousjanemarie.blogspot.com/2011/12/santa-paintbrush-ornament.html

 

Santa Hat Nail Art

I saw this on Pinterest.com from Kaylee Denmark Nails.  While the tail on her Santa cap was a little longer and her red polish was glittery, I am pleased how well my hat turned out.  Here is how I did it and not break the bank.

You'll need the following supplies, all from the dollar store:

 

nail file

red nail polish

white nail polish

crystal jewel with adhesive back from kid's nail kit

clear top coat polish 

 

I am left handed so painted my ring fingernail on my right hand.  One nail was enough for me, but do as many as you want to, of course.

 

After letting your nails grow a bit, file the nail/nails into a pretty rounded shape.

Paint the tip of the nail red.  Let dry.

Paint the fur trim with the white polish, slightly wiggling the brush to make it look more realistic and fluffy. Let dry.

With the red polish, paint the cap's tail on one side, covering the white. Let dry.

Firmly press a small crystal on the end of the tail.

Paint two or three coats of clear polish over the entire nail, being sure to cover the crystal jewel. This coat will not only protect your Santa hat but will help keep the jewel in place.

 

BE SURE TO LET EACH CLEAR COAT DRY COMPLETELY SO NOTHING WILL MAR YOUR CREATION.

 

Show everyone your Santa Hat nail with pride because it's fun, fancy and festive!

 

Merry Christmas!

Santa Paintbrush Ornament

I saw a similar Santa Claus ornament made from a paintbrush in a Lowe's magazine. I ran to the dollar store, got a few inexpensive brushes in different sizes and we were off!  I goosed mine up from the sample photo in the magazine and the result is pretty cute.  It can be made in an afternoon with paint you have around the house if you do much crafting at all.  Add some cotton balls for his hat trim and a mustache and  wahoo!  This is a fun family project for the children, too.

You'll need:

1 paintbrush, any size

paint for handle- 2 colors

paint for face- white mixed with a splash of pink & pink for cheeks

paint for eyes - black with white for reflection

cotton balls

glue, ribbon to hang & scissors                                                  

glitter paint (optional)

1. With scissors, trim the corners off the bristles, rounding the edge to look like a beard.

2. Paint the handle, front and back, one color.  When dry, paint a second, contrasting color on the handle making stripes or dots or whatever design you want.

3. When dry, mix a splash of pink paint with white and paint the face on the metal band of the brush, front and back. 

4. When dry, dot two black circles for eyes with the tip of the handle of a large craft paintbrush or the eraser of a pencil. When eyes are dry, add tiny dots of white for the reflection which will bring the eyes to life.

5. Dot pink on the face for cheeks in the same manner.  When dry, add clear glitter paint, if desired.

6. Stretch several cotton balls to look like fur and glue all round the the paintbrush, front and back, for the fur trim.

7. Take a small piece of cotton, stretch for the moustache, twist in the middle and adding a drop of glue, only in the center, press in place.  When dry, gently twist the tips of the moustache to make them pointy, if desired.

8. Cut a 6 or 7 inch piece of narrow coordinating ribbon, slip it through the hole in the handle that is hopefully already drilled when you purchased the brush, knot the ribbon, and hang your decoration. :-)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

A Frosty of My Own!

We often walk to church. It was cold today and required a jacket.  As we entered the vestibule, an usher said to my husband, "Bruce, in that jacket and scarf, all you need is a top hat and pipe and you'll look like Frosty." And so we did and he does.  Meet my very own Frosty!                   





Former Fernandina Beach Mayor Bruce Malcolm can be seen reading to the children at the local library.  This time, Santa joined the fun!

Merry Christmas!