Hello Everybody,
Here are some of the highlights of our
2013. I hope your year was as whirlwind as ours.
Mother asked her Brother:
"What is the score?" Her Brother answered, "10
to 10." Mother: "Who is winning?" Her Brother: "It's 10 to 10." Mother,
laughing: "Oh, since you're a Navy man, I’m glad it's Navy." Her
Brother: "It's 10 to 10." Mother still loves her Brother even if
he only says, "10 to 10." She's glad to know his favorite
number is 10. He can be so secretive.
Father rewired the front
porch light. Whenever the family flips
the switch, the hair dryer starts blowing cold.
Now, if Father can only figure out how to make it blow hot, Mother can
melt the marshmallows on the macaroni and cheese.
Grampa Squirrelly gave
Niece Beanie a candle for her birthday. Father worried she would forget it and
burn her house down. Grampa pointed out
that her house is termite-ridden so Father gave her a book of matches.
Daughter walked the beach and
left a small pile of special seashells on the shore near the water. When she returned the next day with a bucket
to collect them, they were gone. The
police laughed at the robbery. With such
blatant disregard of citizen's property, she wonders what will be next?
Stealing dandelions?
Cousin Gassie reports that
his bowel sounds have improved. The
doctor no longer hums The Volga Boatman when he listens. Now he sings Zippidy Doo Da. Gassie is so thrilled, he's looking for
a Hollywood agent.
Aunt Rantie asked Mother,
"How does a dog know it's not a cat and a cat know it's not a
dog." Not wanting to appear
superior in her knowledge, Mother played dumb.
The neighborhood got new
square lime green recycling cans. Cousin
Irk says it gives him more elbow room, what with the four extra corners, and
refuses to move out.
The canned peaches are still
on aisle 5 at the Hoggily-Woggily.
Father discovered that if you
turn a book upside down, the words are upside down, too. He loves to share his findings with the
family in the hope they will grow as wise as he is.
The bread often has green
edges. Mother is pleased because the
color matches her vinyl placemats.
The ice cream melted too fast
and Father is preparing to take legal action.
Our mailman has crusty elbows.
After adopting a rescued
doggie, Mother said to her Brother who was moving in for a very long unexpected
visit, "Where is the dog? I don't
want her to run outside." Brother replied, "I know exactly where she
is. She's biting my right ankle."
Mother said, "Oh good! After you
put on thicker socks, give her one of these biscuits so she'll keep doing it
and we'll always know where to find her."
Since he found a coupon,
Cousin Chuckrack completed cooking school.
Being on a special diet to keep his tapeworm at regulation size, he's
lost his interest in fancy cuisine and decided to be an electrician
instead. He calls his business Snap,
Crackle and Shock.
Daughter has a new boyfriend. He’s
very nice but he chews worms. Everybody knows you're supposed to lick
them.
Great Uncle Thrice-Removed from Hack-knee
Hollow went to the dollar store. He is so rich, he took along three
dollars, but since everything costs only one dollar, he couldn’t buy the purple
spider snow globe he wanted.
Mother's turkey was a bit dry.
Father put it in his closet to keep the humidity down so his shoes
don't mold.
The wind blew when it was dark outside.
Merry Christmas!
PS
Links to past Annual Christmas Letters:
To find even earlier Annual Christmas
Letters from Our Family and to get a better understanding of our exotic
lifestyle, visit: http://www.greenlightwrite.com/newsletterarchive.htm
- Annual Christmas Letters are highlighted in RED.
PLUS, our Super
Popular Post – Santa Paintbrush
Ornament http://graciousjanemarie.blogspot.com/2011/12/santa-paintbrush-ornament.html
