Found Funny Email-Goodbye Lie Diaries-Aunt Noreen

     Oft times, my e-mails overwhelm me.  I don't delete as I should.  I found one from 2013, which I don't remember composing, so as I read it, I chuckled out loud.  I thought I would share.

     I am writing to a friend who is engaged.  We are chatting about our early beaus.  This is me talking: 

     Tell your fiancé, my first boyfriend, when I was a little kid, was named Henry.  He was a neighbor and he squinted all the time.  He also ate worms. Seriously.  I think I remember your mother saying I ate worms.  Well, I didn't and still don't.  I also think Barbra, our daughter, had an early boyfriend who licked rocks. With beginnings like that, it's a wonder we didn't end up marrying men who chew their own toenails. - Jane Marie

   

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Aunt Noreen

Late 1800s

Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida

Aunt Noreen writes: I am beginning to see a nasty pattern with regard to your writing, Jane Marie.  If you are not scribbling something mean about me in your Goodbye Lie series (GBL), you are making up less than socially acceptable stories in this blog of yours. My stars, but I would think you might make better use of the hours in your day by counting flower petals or listening for bird calls.  That's what I do.

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Present Day

Fernandina Beach on Amelia Island, Florida

Jane Marie writes: Dearest Aunt Noreen,

      I think YOU might make better use of your hours by trying to improve your disposition. 

     Just so you know, by comparison to many authors in our 21st century, my writings are tame.  I had a reader send me an email which said: There is no raw sex [in The Goodbye Lie] and it's still a good story.  I put her comment on this blog because I am extremely proud of that fact.  My intention, all along, is to keep my work family-friendly and tastefully romantic.  After all, I dedicated The Goodbye Lie to my father, so I would not be embarrassed when he read it. 

     And another thing.  Quit hogging all the entries in the GBL Diaries!  Give some of the other characters a chance to correspond with us.  I'm beginning to get complaints from our readers.  Enough said, except have a lovely time counting your petals whilst you think how you might do a kindness to ... Peeper. Everybody know how much you concern yourself with her business.  

With all their shenanigans, Aunt Noreen and Grandmother Peeper are comical characters in The Goodbye Lie series.

#funny, #silly, #childhood, #GoodbyeLie, #series, #dramatic, #Irish, #tasteful, #gracious, #GoodbyeLieDiaries, #AmeliaIsland, #Fernandian, #beach, #AuntNoreen, #Peeper

Breelan's Pear Salad - Goodbye Lie Diaries

Late l800s
Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida

Breelan writes:  If you have read Jane Marie's telling of my life story in her Goodbye Lie  novel, you will understand my feelings about food preparation. Such a thing should be as simple as reading a recipe from a cookbook.  In this regard, at times, my meals have been less than palatable ... 
 

Breelan

    However, the Pear Salad from my mother, Miss Ella, is tasty and presentable enough to be served on board the ships in our Aqua Verdi Cruise Line.
    Only four ingredients are required and they are:

• one large lettuce leaf
• a square of cream cheese rolled in 
• chopped nuts and placed on
• half a pear

     I feel sure you will enjoy the sweet and soft of the pear in combination with the cheese and crunch of the nuts.
     As Jane Marie says, "Enjoy!"

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Present day

Fernandina Beach on Amelia Island, Florida

Jane Marie writes:  Breelan, dear. Your Pear Salad looks delightful and light.  I wanted to be sure what we call cream cheese in our time is the same cheese as you use.  So, I googled it.  Just like the way we communicate in these Goodbye Lie Diaries, through the magic of electronics, we also have the ability to find most any answer instantly on a program we call Google.  There I discovered cream cheese was invented by a Mr. William Lawrence, an American from New York, in 1872.  By 1880, his cheese was available for purchase, wrapped in foil.  That is still how we buy ours today!  Some things should never change and cream cheese is one of them.  

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The Goodbye Lie, Amelia Island's Velvet Undertow and Amelia Island's Mark of a Man are all part of The Goodbye Lie series.

#Breelan, #GoodbyeLie, #recipe, #salad, #drama, #romantic, #island, #AmeliaIsland,  #series, #Fernandina, #Irish, #pear, #nut

2017 Solar Eclipse in OK

     Today, a solar eclipse crossed the United States from our west to east coasts.  Here on Amelia Island, Florida, I had my homemade shoebox viewer and protective eye wear at the ready.  Sadly, our skies were cloud ridden.  While clouds can be wonderful in an historical romance novel like The Goodbye Lie,
... lovers lay under a coverlet of clouds studded by stars... or something much like that, I remember writing, clouds and eclipses don't mix. So I have no photos for you, but -
     My sister, Nancy Kamp from Oklahoma, shot this image above.  Her sun was bright as its rays made their way through a tree, leaving crescent  moons all over the driveway.  Her doggie is witness to this unique event. 
     Thank you, Nancy, for sharing.


#2017Eclipse, #Oklahoma, #GoodbyeLie, #doggie, #crescentmoon,

Squirrel Babies

A friend found this large pine needle nest, nearly 12 inches in diameter, on the ground.  It had fallen from a palm tree while workmen were trimming the fronds (palm leaves).  Inside were these two darling little squirrels.  She took them to The Nature Center on Amelia Island Plantation, here, to be raised.  With the right care, the two will grow up to delight the humans they encounter and have babies of their own.  So sweet ...

PS  I hope Aunt Noreen doesn't see this post.  In her time of the late 1800s or now, she would complain mightily how squirrels are just another form of long-tailed rat.  So don't tell her our little squirrel secret, PLEASE.

*****

(If you don't know, Aunt Noreen is a featured player my Goodbye Lie series, about an Irish family and their grown children, set in Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida in the late 1800s.  Aunt Noreen is, shall we say, extremely opinionated and is always willing to share those opinions!)

#squirrel, #AmeliaIsland, #Fernandina, #beach, #palm, #rescue, #babyanimal, #GoodbyeLie, #drama, #AuntNoreen, #complain, #rat, #Irish, #family

Aunt Noreen's Favorite Song - Goodbye Lie Diaries

1894

Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida

     Aunt Noreen writes:  Oh, Jane Marie.  I heard you playing I Don't Want To Play In Your Yard.  How you are able ,in your time, to do this will forever be a puzzlement to me.  No matter, this is a new song in my time and I adore it. I only recently received my copy of the sheet music in yesterday's mid-morning post. I am thrilled to add it to my very large collection of such. Once I learn to play our square grand piano, this will be one of my first pieces. In the meanwhile, I will have Miss Ella play it for me.  She hits a wrong key occasionally, but then only our Lord is perfect.  Isn't that right?

Aunt Noreen

    You must be wondering just why I love this song so.  It is because it carries me back to my childhood.  The song tells the tale of  little girls who quarrel and make up and quarrel and make up.  As I think on it, my life is still that way.  While I have so very many friends, more than most other people, my friends can be so unreasonable and difficult at times.  I realize today this song still describes the spats caused by the now grown girls who attack me. I won't name names, but that adopted Dunnigan grandmother, who is short and fat and lives next door, never apologizes for her harsh words toward me, but the other women who offend me, usually do. They cannot endure their otherwise grim lives if I, Fernandina's true society-sophisticate, turn from them.

     Jane Marie tells me you should "click on the arrow in the picture" above and the music will begin. As you listen, think of me and the trials I live through because some women can be just awful.   

YouTube from Sheet Music Singer

words by Philip Wingate
composed by H. W. Petrie                               

Published - National Music Co., Chicago, 1894                         

                                               .

Aunt Noreen is a featured character in The Goodbye Lie series, an  Irish family saga in E-book and paperback at  Jane Marie Malcolm's Amazon.com author page here: The Goodbye Lie series

#sheetmusic, #grandpiano, #youtube, #AmeliaIsland, #AuntNoreen, #Peeper, #drama, #Irishfamily, #series, #novel, #beach, #romance, #mystery, #family, #touching

Grammy Camp- A Flip-Flop Welcolm

 Here is an easy project granddaughter, Ava, and I made at our annual Grammy Camp.  And it's inexpensive, too.  (Be sure and have an adult helping with the hot glue gun. Also, it is very important you have a cup of cool water close so you can dip in any fingers that might touch the hot glue. This will prevent burns.)

• Go to your local Dollar Store and purchase four pairs of colorful rubber flip-flops.  Ava picked our colors.
•  If don't have any around the house, also get three different varieties of silk flowers there.  Ava picked out our flowers.
•  Hot glue them to a wooden stick or dowel, several feet long.  (Measure your flip-flops side-by-side before gluing to make sure your dowel is long enough.) 
•  In permanent marker, write your version of WElCOLM on the flip-flops. (I misspelled WELCOLM on a garage sale sign years ago, thinking, not to clearly, that it is spelled like my last name, Malcolm.  It is now just another of my wacky trademarks.)
• Hot glue the flowers to cover the dowel and make it look pretty.
• Tie a ribbon on each end of the dowel for hanging. 
• Oh, we glued 7 flip-flops on the dowel because an odd number always look better.  With one flip-flop left over, we hung it from a ribbon like a fallen flower petal, so it wasn't wasted.
• Enjoy!

#flipflop, #summer, #welcomesign, #craft, #hotglueproject, #beachcraft, #AmeliaIsland, #drama, #romance, #Fernandina, #kidsproject, #ProjectsForKids, #GoodbyeLie, #series, #GrammyCamp

Grammy Camp's Pancake Apple Chips plus Peeper Says ...

     Granddaughter Ava found a recipe and photo online for what appeared to be  perfect circles of cored and sliced apples covered in from-scratch pancake batter then pan fried to a golden brown. Well, this is our version.  Not so perfectly round, but fun shapes.  In the photo to the left, can you see, perhaps,  a whale on the top right of the plate, a  puppy on the top left, maybe a sea horse in the middle and an upside down lion's head on the bottom right? That's what Ava saw and I tend to agree with her.
     We measured all the different ingredients as per the pancake batter recipe, and the taste was really yummy when syrup was added. We decided that next time, though, we would use pancake batter from a box. (Yes, I know, horrors.) This shortcut will only give us extra time to do more things at Grammy Camp.

     To the left is a fancier version we served to Grampy, which we dubbed Pancake Apple Chips.  Thin slices of apple, dipped in batter, browned on the grill or griddle, add some syrup and you've got a fun, healthy meal or snack.  Give it a try.

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The Goodbye Lie Diaries
Late 1800s
Fernandina on Amelia Island, Florida

Grandmother Pepper writes:  I been afixin' this here apple treat for my youngin's fur long as I can recall.  They love 'em.  Sometimes I slice strawberries on top, too.  Glad ta know you haven't lost all yur sense in yur time and are still amakin' good food. I approve most mightily.

#pancake, #ApplePancake, #GrammyCamp, #CookingWithKids, #RecipesForKids, #Peeper, #grandmother, #family, #Victorian, #GoodbyeLie, #AmeliaIsland, #Florida