December 22, 2015

Annual Christmas Letter - 2015

Merry Christmas to all,

It has been a busy year on Amelia Island, in north Florida, USA! 
Here are just a few of the highlights from our past twelve months:

Father sniffed his wallet to see if it smelt of farts.

Uncle Fuzzie still showers. We’re all happy for him when it rains. 

Daughter was asked to alphabetize the books in the public library. She declined, citing it was her turn to wash the cracks in the sidewalk. 

The palmetto bugs squish when you step on them.

Grammy quit choir and volunteered, instead, to sing solos.  It seems handbells, cantatas and all that praying are using up the hour of church each week and the music director can't fit her in until 2024. Now, Mother must decide on which Tuesday of that year she will perform.  Oh, the pressure!  

Son bought a new home in a new neighborhood.  He lost the address though.  If you see an empty house anywhere, let him know.  He is listening for your call.

Uncle Blocktassel heard bananas will keep longer if they do not touch.  He thinks it best they don’t see each other either, so stashes them in separate rooms.  He is suspicious that Cousin Squirtfinger snuck in and ate the banana he had tucked away behind the third volume in The Dandelion and The Nut Pick series. Be warned. Uncle seeks proof.
Granddaughter ate too much chocolate and blew chunks clear across her newly decorated white and pink bedroom.  The chocolate stains look like polka dots.  Everyone knows brown and pink, together, are a very chic combination, and Aunt Snuffle says it adds designer tones.   

When Mother set Father's plate of leftovers before him, he said, "This looks like Sunday dinner in the state pen." Mother is grateful for a husband who is always so free with his compliments.    

The trees have no feathers, but the dog’s fur tastes like the sweeper.

The stop sign works best on Thursdays. 

Brother learned to eat cheese.  Grad school has taught him the riches of life.

That’s all we have time for as we are already sanding the grapefruit and plowing the paper towels to prepare for the coming year. 

Love from your favorite Amelia Island family.   X O X O X O

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